Thursday, August 12, 2010

If The Expendables Wore Pink

Would this be how the movie poster would look?

Of course this mock poster is a joke, but how would the actual theatrical poster look if the 2010 action film The Expendables (starring legendary action heroes Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li and with brief appearances by the king of all action heroes, Arnold Schwarzenegger, as well as Bruce Willis) movie was starring female action heroes?

It certainly wouldn't look like the real The Expendables movie poster---

filled with guns and knives galore which look drenched in blood complete with a menacing skull.

An even more important question is, what would the cast sound like if the tables where turned and the stars were girls instead of boys?

there even be a cast?

I thought long and hard about the female version of The Expendables and came up with:

Jolie (as in Angelina)
Thurman (Uma)
Rodriguez (Michelle)
Liu (Lucy)
Lawless (Lucy)
Jovovitch (Milla)
Garner (Jennifer)
Grier (Pam)
Davis (Geena)
Weaver (Sigourney)
Fox (Vivica A.)
Queen Latifah
Beckinsale (Kate)
Moore (Demi)
Dushku (Eliza)
Gershon (Gina)
Lilly (Evangeline)

These actresses have at some point played the role of a strong, butt-kicking machine woman (with the exception of ex-wrestler Chyna, who has done very few movies and more of television acting and Lilly, who has done movie acting but is best known for her T.V. role on Lost as tenacious Kate) but would they have it in them to play ruthless, killing machines as the actors in The Expendables do?

I don't know...



I would love to finally see a real action film starring women. And not part cutesy and sexy like in recent girl action films, 2000 & 2003's Charlie's Angels and 2006's DOA (Dead or Alive).
I'm talking realistic, brutal, no holds barred action that happens in male dominated action films.

If the actresses mentioned above couldn't do such an action film, I don't know which actresses could.

Imagine this poster of The Expendables---

with the actresses' name mentioned before, wearing similar suits (and not in pink!) and armed to the teeth as the actors are.

I think it's only a matter of time before real women action heroes (read: not at all sexed up somehow) in film comes along.

Besides Alice from the Resident Evil films (has a late summer 2010 film out), Selene from the Underworld series (will reappear in a 2011 film), Black Mamba from Kill Bill series (she will resurface in Kill Bill Vol. 3 in 2014) and Lara Croft (who is MIA at the moment), what other female action heroes do girls have?

Angelina Jolie's recent fierce Evelyn Salt character could be the beginning of a new, real female action hero.

However Salt, Alice, Selene, Black Mamba and Croft still aren't as notorious as the male action heroes Rambo, The Terminator and John McClane.

When will we finally see a worldwide female action hero?

It's 2010 already.

Hollywood, it's time.



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